How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie is arguable one of the most life changing and effecting books any individual can learn from. Warren Buffett has regarded this book as one of the most influencical changes in his life, and helped him with public speaking.

The review will be orchestrated with the main/simple conclusions of each of the many chapters. I hope you enjoy and as always I strongly advise you take a read for yourself !

Part 1. Fundamental Techniques in handling people

Principles in a nutshell:

  1. Don’t critise, condem or complain – Instead try to understand others.
  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation – replace critism with honest appreciation of others.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want – People will only do what they want.

Part 2. Six ways to make people like you

Principles in a nutshell:

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people – Give time and energy.
  2. Smile – Simle and be happy when greeting people.
  3. Remember people’s name – Take the time and effort to remember everyone who you meet names.
  4. Be a good listener – Encourage others to speak about themselves. “Hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”
  5. Talk in terms of the other persons interests – Please the other persons interests first, learn their interests in advance, make yourself agreeable.
  6. Make the other person feel important – Do this with the expectation of getting nothing in return.

Part 3. How to win people to your way of thinking

Principles in a nutshell:

  1.  Avoid arguments – You can’t win an argument, if you lose you lose. If you win, you lose the other persons goodwill.
  2. Show respect to others opinions – Always say ‘let’s look at the facts.’
  3. Admit when you’re wrong quickly and empathically – Admit your own mistakes before others get the chance to say them.
  4. Begin in a friendly way – Always have a friendly approach to every situation.
  5. Get the other person saying ‘yes,yes’ immediately – Always start in agreement with the other person.
  6. Let the other person do the great deal of the talking – Encourage others to express their ideas.
  7. Let the other person think the idea is his/hers – consult others on their wishes, wants and thoughts.
  8. Try to see things from the other persons point of view – sympathetic view of other peoples viewpoints.
  9. Be sympathetic with other peoples ideas – most people are seeking sympathy so give it to them.
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives of others.
  11. Dramatize your ideas – Use showmanship
  12. Throw down a challenge – Desire to excel.

Part 4. How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment

Principles in a nutshell:

  1. Begin with praise and honest appreaction – Its easier to take unpleasant things after hearing praise.
  2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly – Don’t say but after praising someone, say And.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before critiquing someone else – be humble with your own mistakes.
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders – Ask questions & give suggestions.
  5. Let the other person save face – Never destroy someone’s ego.
  6. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  7. Make the fault seem easy to correct – use encouragement.
  8. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. 

Following these principles with a deep, driving desire to learn will certainly increase your ability to deal with people in many situations.

I hope you learned something new, keep reading !

Jordonlee W. Smith

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